March 1, 2009

If I were GM of the Tampa Bay Lightning....

I was asked by the blog, Cycle Like the Sedins, for a comical trade deadline post. So here's what I came up with. Remember, it's supposed to be goofy.

If I were GM of the Tampa Bay Lightning in time for the trade deadline....

The first thing I'd do is put the ownership on waivers, but not really expecting anyone to pick them up. I'd send them down to the minors after they'd cleared waivers so they can screw up an AHL team instead while they're trying to get the hang of this ownership/management thing. Then maybe I'd give them another go here in the next couple of years - see how they mature in the minors and all of that, you know.

Okay, here are some trades that I think could benefit the Lightning:
  • RW Pettinger & C Craig (TB) for D Weber (Nash.)
  • Saw I and Saw II (TB) for D Skoula (Minn.)
  • RW Hall, a draft pick, and all of ESPN's Lightning bashing this season (TB) for D Hutchinson (Dal.)
  • C Lecavalier for all of the Montreal Canadiens - as well as all 24 of their Cup wins, Beliveau, Richard, Blake, Robinson, & Geoffrion (all that history is just weighing them down, and who needs that?)
  • All of the constant Canadian hockey press bashing of the Lightning & the Southeast Division for an automatic 8th seed in the East
  • The entire Edmonton Oilers team (players only) for all of the Tampa Bay Lightning - except for Lecavalier and St. Louis, of course
  • Owner Len Barrie & GM Lawton to Canada for some poutine & beer
  • Fort Lauderdale should trade the entire Florida Panthers organization to Portland, Oregon, for some environmental know-how - the Lightning need a larger fan base in the state of Florida

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